Malpensando que es gerundio

Dirty-mind: phrases with double sexual sense.

On many occasions, the mind often tricks us. And if you have a dirty mind like mine, or even more. I do not know if it’s because of culture, genetics or simply because of vice, but I’m always thinking about sex. Rare is the time I do not get up wet. Do you think it just happens to me?

I am an erotophilic person, I have a positive attitude towards sexuality and eroticism. I have no qualms about talking about any topic, and less about sex. Since I was a young girl at home, we have talked about sex education from a positive, never negative, approach, exactly the opposite of what Louis Van Gaal said.

Some time ago I find it hard to see the literal meaning of things, the phrases I hear every day I receive them with double meaning. I understand everything the other way around, with an erotic meaning. I am giving a sexual sense to expressions or actions that do not have it. Has it ever happened to you that you are among friends, and when you peel or eat a banana, you’ve got a silly giggle because you think you’re doing a blowjob?

As I am very curious, during the weekend, I began to make a list with some phrases and expressions with sexual connotations.

Sharpen the pencil : Such an innocent expression can become pure poetry. You imagine that a girl tells you, when you want to sharpen your pencil, I lend you my pencil sharpener.

Wet the churro : When do you like to wet it? When I finish the party, before going to sleep. In Barcelona there are sites where they offer a hot chocolate .

Open the clam : What can we say about this sexual expression? It is one of the best known.

Peel (a fruit) : This expression makes me very funny when my mother says to my father, do you want me to peel you …? The tangerine.

Play the zambomba : It does not have to be Christmas or sing Christmas carols to “play the zambomba”. The best thing is that you play it while you enjoy the rhythm.

Take her to the garden : When my father told my mother, I’m going to take you to the garden, I do not know why but I always thought they were going to plant potatoes or grow turnips.

March back : At home I always listened to my mother tell my father, beware of going back, beware that it may have consequences. I knew that my father was a bad driver, but not so much.

Looking at Cuenca : Is there anyone who knows where Cuenca is when we are in bed?

Eat it all : My mother instilled in me that we always have to eat it all and finish everything It’s a good thing because I never leave anything on the plate.

Run for the side : When they tell me, run away a little bit more. Wait a moment, man, I need my time.

I like the crusts (of the bread) : The tips of the bread are always hard, as I like them. But beware of biting too hard.

What a big package : Seeing the Amazon delivery guy when he walks in the door. What were you thinking?

I’m hot : And no, I do not mean when I have a fever.

Eat rabbit : I do not especially like rabbit, but I like to be eaten.

When I go to run, I warn you : How many times have I heard this expression from my father, but the funny thing is that I have never seen him with the running suit on. Could it be that he is lazy?

I love cream : Cream always adds flavor to things.Personally I like it between my boobs and my lips .

As you have seen, erotic phrases with double meaning can give a lot of juice, forgiveness, play I wanted to say. Thinking about sex is inevitable, we are surrounded by temptations, therefore, it is better to enjoy it than to try to avoid it.

Do not forget that you can go running accompanied, make a stop to eat a clam or rabbit (depends on whether you like meat or seafood more), accompany it with the crusts of the bread, offer to teach where Cuenca is and finish sweetly with freshly whipped cream.

Can you help me expand my list? Do not back down, sharpen your pencil and write!


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