Get on all fours and I will tell you a story

Yesterday I went to sleep wondering what is the meaning of life. Luckily during the night that stupid thought passed to me and this morning I could wake up with a much more important question: what is the position with which a man runs faster? Desperate to find an answer, I asked my father, which caused a rather uncomfortable situation considering that I was in bed with my mother and I swear they were not sleeping.

So I had to find someone else who could help me. And it’s at that time, that working for a brothel makes sense: the girls on Apricots sure knew the answer. Since I was going to see them, I thought to ask them a few more questions.

What are the positions that most customers ask for?
It turned out that the most requested are 4: Andromache, swing, union of the cow and 69. Apart from the 69, which I hope you know, the others seem the names of some new and devastating synthetic drugs used in the Mexican suburbs. I would loved to find some alternative nomenclatures but, realistically, how could I get better name than union of the cow? Many thanks to the Kamasutra for naming these postures so original:

Andromache : he lying down and her on top, face to face. It is the typical posture in which he does practically nothing and, perhaps, women surprise us? To me, personally, not that much. Swing : he lying down and she’s on his back. It is the typical posture in which he continues doing virtually nothing but having different views about Andromache. Union of the cow : is the puppy or 4 legs of a lifetime, you should know what I mean. I have nothing to say about the posture itself, because the name fascinates me to such an extent that the only thing I’m thinking now is having a daughter to call her that. I already imagine “Union de la Vaca, honey, what have you learned today at school?” 69 : Do I really have to explain it to you? Would you know which one, among the 4 postures, is the one most requested by customers?

The union of the cow wins with 42%, and not because I think the name is very cool. In second place is Andromache, with 33%; follow the swing with 17% and, finally, 69 with 8%.

What are the positions with which customers run faster?
Ladies, when you are tired and the excuse of the headache has not served to escape from partner, that you know that there are two positions that will allow him to run faster than normal: union of the cow and union of the butterfly. And I already have a name for my second daughter. Likewise, dear men, do not lose hope because there is always a solution … or more than one, as we discussed in this article .

Union of the cow : if you do not suffer from Alzheimer’s, you should remember what position this is because I just explained it.