Legend has it that God created heaven and earth and many other things, until the seventh day arrived and since he was tired he went to Apricots, where he was able to relax and enjoy as he had not done for 7 days. The fact is that, after the third powder, he realized that his work was still to be finished. There was something missing so that the life of the human being on earth would be more pleasant and, although the second day had created Apricots, he knew that it was not enough to please everyone. So he called in to help the most creative and witty of his friends: Lucifer.
– Look, God, I think that what can work very well between humans are the parties “chorras “
– Is not my son’s birthday yet? “
– Hahaha, how bad you are! But I was wrong, I meant “parties of the chorra”
– This one is a good idea, Lucifer. I immediately start creating a few “
That is how celebrations such as the Aquelarre de Cervera, the Kanamara Matsuri of Kawasaki and the Sex Mountain of Java were born.
Aquelarre de Cervera – Spain
During the last weekend of August, the inhabitants of Cervera get together to celebrate the coven. For those who do not know this term, the coven is a gathering of sorcerers and witches made for the purpose of performing rituals and spells. It is practically the same as a meeting of members of the PP with the difference that in the Aquelarre de Cervera, Satan is not ashamed to witness the act. In fact, in Cervera, Satan is so happy to be the guest of honor that, on the last day, he gives off all his happiness with a mega-run on top of the audience. I do not know about you, but to me, just thinking about it, I was thirsty.
Kanamara Matsuri – Japan
Japan is famous throughout the world for its temples, its ancient traditions, its futuristic technologies and its disproportionate inhabitants. Even more disproportionate are the cocks that shine during the Kanamara Matsuri. This feast of fertility, which is celebrated every spring in the city of Kawasaki, is characterized by the presence of huge papier-mache cocks cornered by people completely out who touches them, mounts them, kisses them and knows what else. In fact, better not to know, ignorance may be the best defense against possible brain traumas.
The tradition of taking giant penises for a walk is surprising in a country where the virile member is rather small. Well, contrary to what you may think, it is not a ritual for the next generations of Japanese to be born more gifted. The origin of this festival is in the legend of a demon who lived inside the chichi of a young maiden.
The maid got married and on the wedding night, her husband went to brush the flower. But his flower was rather a carnivorous plant, because the devil who lived inside the vagina of the woman, seeing the penis entering his cave bit him and pulled it off. The husband bled to death. The young woman remarried and the same thing happened to the next husband.
The father of the young woman, worried about her daughter, told all the men in the village to fuck her until the devil got out of her pussy. I’m already imagining the scene: the young woman in the middle of the plaza espatarrada, a long queue of men eager to fuck and nervous at the same time for the possibility of dying at the same hands or lips of a vagina. But of course, a free powder is a free powder …
After killing the majority of men in the village by amputation of the penis, the blacksmith had a wonderful idea: to make an iron penis. He did, he stood at the tail of the Gang Bang and when he touched it he introduced the primitive dildo into the vagina dentata. The devil bit, broke his teeth and left whistling. And since then, the Japanese take out penises of all shapes and sizes every April. What a wonderful country! Cradle of the bukkake and pixelated porn.
Sex Mountain – Indonesia
There comes a time in the life of the Indonesians in which they have to go in search of luck and health. But not like crazy, there is a specific place they have to go to: the mountain of Gunung Kemukus, also known as Sex Mountain. In this sacred place, luck and health are achieved by getting sex with strangers , exactly 7 consecutive times for 35 days. For the ritual to be carried out it is very important not to fuck with your partner, for this reason in the mountain there are no missing sacred prostitutes.
What jumps more in view of all this is not the fact that this mountain is an open-air brothel where luck and health are achieved thanks to sex (the best excuse in the world to fuck, come on), but Indonesia is the country with the highest percentage of Muslims. We know that sex is an absolutely taboo subject for them and adultery is a practice in which if you are lucky you only take a few lashes, and if you are not so lucky, you will be stoned.
Thank God, and Lucifer’s wit, the world is a place full of wonderful things. And very outgoing and vicious people. Having to choose one of these celebrations, which one would you go?
* Cover photo by Jordi Prat